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Self-reflection
spread with the Sun in the key position
Anyone who has been critically ill will identify with aspects
of this reading and accompanying story. In December 1998, I suffered a
stroke - fortunately with no lasting side-effects. A few days after returning
home from the hospital I took out the Tarot cards…
Question:
What can I do to make sure this trauma has a positive effect
on my life?
Short answer: Rejoice and live life to the
fullest!
How wonderful to draw the Sun as the key at a time when I was feeling physically and emotionally fragile. It promised golden opportunities to relax, throw away the diary, live for the moment and savour every minute of the experience - something I sorely needed after the major trauma of a cerebral haemorrhage.
It was less than two weeks since the stroke and I was spending a large part of each day lying on the couch in the living room listening to music. As the strains of soothing and uplifting music wafted around me, I realised that the king-hit to my brain was definitely forcing me to see the world differently. I could see that my life so far had been anything but the energy of the Sun card. Releasing the inner child, doing something artistic or creative were simply not concepts I was familiar with. If I wanted a positive outcome from this trauma, it looked as if I would have to pay some attention to this idea!
The two personality cards were Pages, which seemed appropriate for me as I started on a new phase of my life. I had to re-invent myself, so naturally I would be immature when it came to handling the situation. Working for me was the Page of Wands - a youthful enthusiasm and ability to come up with creative new ideas. However, I had to be wary of doing nothing but think about the ideas! A negative influence would be my tendency to doubt the validity of my ideas (the Page of Swords) and a reluctance to test ideas in the real world. This made sense to me, but I was still weak, so I saw no harm in daydreaming for a while as I continued my convalescence. Filed away in the back of my mind were the warnings about leaving ideas up in the air and not doing anything about making them happen.
The final three cards struck a chord on a career and emotional front. They seemed to be saying that once I was ready to leave the daydreaming behind I would become very active on the work front (Ten and Seven of Wands). However, I had to be careful not to fall back into the old pattern of taking on too much and becoming overloaded. I also had to avoid becoming defensive if some of my ideas and attitudes were challenged. I could live with this message - after all, forewarned is forearmed!
On an emotional level, the Six of Cups sent mixed messages. On the one hand it signalled a respite from past emotional pain, but it also warned about the dangers of getting caught up in nostalgia about 'the good old days'. If you think only of the past, you stagnate and leave little room for the future. So the Six of Cups was telling me to use the peace of mind I had gained from my current situation to move forward emotionally. However, it was comforting to think that if people who had caused me pain in the past returned to my life, I would have the strength to relate to them without being hurt again.
Less than a month after this reading I received a lump-sum trauma insurance payout! I went to South America where I experienced the joy of living life for the moment without a care in the world - the story in the Star chapter tells of that healing time. The pressures of a working life did close in on me as the years went by, but I have never forgotten the lesson of the Sun, for it stops me reverting to destructive behaviour patterns that belong in the past.
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tel: +61 (0)404 508323
Email: lmarson@bigpond.net.au.
